jokes jokes jokes..

Subject: jokes jokes jokes.. Tue May 20, 2008 6:16 pm

Reporter: Ano ka ba Manny? Milyonaryo? Sabungero? Sugarol? Politico?
Babaero? Lahat na lang pinasok mo...,
Manny: Kya nga PAKYAW pangalan ko eh.

Lolo: Pakiabot naman yang posporo.
Lola: Andyan naman yang kalan e!
Lolo: So ipanlilinis ko yang kalan ang tenga ko? Ganon ba ha? Ha?

(inday series)
Isinama si Inday ng kanyang amo sa isang hotel....Pumasok sila sa
elevator.
Kuya Operator: Good Morning ladies!
Nakatinginan c kuya operator at si Inday...Napangiti si Inday...
Kuya Operator: I like your smile.
Nagblush si Inday, halatang kinilig.
And for the first time, hindi siya nakapagsalita.

Isang araw may Korean sa mansion...
Korean: Anyong haseo, korean konsamida!
Translator: Sya daw po ay isang Korean.
Amo: Ah ok pakuha ka ng juice kay Inday.
Inday: Sir, here's the juice, its my pleasure to award you the juice.
Amo: O Inday huwag mo syang inglesin hindi ka nyan maiintindihan. ..
Inday: Anyong haseo! Inday konsamida, oppa gum nobo yi gawa
Philippines? Ah ampoko yabuseo.
Amo: Punyeta ka Inday lahat na alam mo.

WORLDS OF WISDOM FROM MELANIE MARQUEZ:
-- True good to be true.
-- When it rains, its four
-- Once in a new moon.
-- Please don't make fond of me.
-- The more you hate, the more you laugh
-- Alma Mother
-- No holes barred
-- Mute and academic
-- You can never can tell
-- What are friends are for?
-- Keep your mouth shock
-- Ats if?!
-- Well, well, well, look do we have here!
-- Its just the tip of the icing
-- Here's more to come
-- Connect me if I'm wrong
-- I'm in the break of death

Dalawang magkadormate naguusap...
Dormate 1: Pare, amoy tinapay ka ah...
Dormate 2: Talaga? Anung klaseng tinapay naman?
Dormate 1: Putok pare putok!

Judge: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnaper, gun for hire, gambling lord,
swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang MATINONG HANAPBUHAY?
Accused: Aba, meron sir! PULIS din po ako!

Juan: Pare, bat't nga ba namatay ang tatay mo?
Pedro: Kasi may sipon
Juan: Nakakamatay ba sipon?
Pedro: oo naman! Lalo na kung di mo naamoy nasusunog bahay mo.

Prophet to GMA: God sent me to tell you hanggang bukas na lang buhay mo.
GMA: Heto pera....malaki yan..sabihin mo na lang kay God di tayo
nagkita.

Teacher: Class, what is the new definition of graft and corruption?
Student: BACK OFF!!
Teacher: Very good, at least one of you is reading the newspapers.
What then is the meaning of COMELEC?
Student: Fixer, ma'am.
Teacher: Very good! What is the meaning of FG?
Student: Full of Greed, ma'am!
Teacher: Very, very good.

George Bush and GMA and spouces at White House dinner:
George Bush to Laura: Please pass the pie, sweetie pie.
GMA (not to be outdone) to Mike: Please pass the pork, porky pig.

Boy1: Pare pahiram 5pesos, bibili lang ako CHUCHIRYA.
Boy2: Pare, ano kaba, nakakahiya ha! Hindi chuchirya tawag dun! Tanga!
Boy1: E, ano?
Boy2: JUMPFUDS pare, jumpfuds!

Sa isang sabungan:
Guard: Boss, rule dito kapag walang dalang manok eh magbabayad ng
entrance.
Natoy (excited): Aba, may dala ako ah!
Guard: Boss, eh sisiw pa yang dala mo eh.
Natoy: Eh boss! Wag mo na akong singilin. Yung tatay nito ang may laban.
Kailangan niyang manood.

Sir: Inday, wala Ma'am mo, dun tayo sa kwarto...
Inday: What?! Are you nuts?! For your information Sir, I intend to
reserve my virginity for the person I truly love! If you think I'm
an easy-to-get cheap slut, well u're barking at the wrong tree and
will you please act like a professional becoz u're so Eeeww...If I
hear anymore filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate
to take legal action!
Sir: Leche, maarte ka!
Inday: Joke lang, Sir naman.....Tara na sa taas....

Juan: Tay, mga classmates ko zero lahat!
Tatay: hahaha! ang hihina nila! Ikaw?
Juan: Magpapatalo ba naman ako? Syempre, zero din! Competitive ata 'to!

Amo: Inday nasan yung sabon namin sa banyo? Ginagamit mo noh?
Inday: With due respect, I will never allow my skin to be touched by
that highly commercialized so called "anti-bacterial soap". Only BELO
touches my skin...Who touches yours?
Safeguard? Ewww...
Amo: Leche! Lumayas ka na nga!

Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? WRISTBAND.
Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? BROADBAND.
Ano ang magpapabagsak kay PGMA? HUSBAND.

Intern 1: I can't believe I got sunburned over the weekend.
Intern 2: What did you do?
Intern 1: I drove down in a convertable, but I didn't think I'd get
sunburned because the car was moving.

A nerd asked his hot n' sexy classmate to have sex with him..
Nerd: Sex tayo! Babayaran kita isang libo, bibilisan ko, tatapon ko
yung isang libo sa sahig. Tuwad ka habang pinupulot mo, pagtayo mo
tapos nako i-sex ka.
Sexy: Tawagan ko muna bf ko kung payag siya. Tinawagan nya...
BF: Cge payag ako, bilisan mo lang pagtuwad para walang mangyari.
After 10 minutes bf calls...
BF: Ano na? Kinuha mo na pera?
Sexy: aahhh...hindi pa e. Aaahh!
Bf: Ha? Bakit?
Sexy: Tig pipiso kasi eh! Aaaahh!!

INRITS YUR BOCABOLARY:
by Manny Pacquiao
TACTICS - tunog ng orasan
PAYT - laban para sa pinoy
TAYTOL - pamagat ng laban
JENGKEH - name ng dyowa nya?!
NO PEER - commercial nya
MOTOR KID - pag-ikot nya sa manila
CHECK IN - manok sa Mcdo
MURA LESS - nakalaban nya
CORRUPT- pagsara ng mata
WIT - timbang
WAWAWE - noontime show
DUET - gawin mo
L.A. - Lito Atsensya!
QUOTES - tawag nya kay Freddie Roach!
_________________

Subject: Re: jokes jokes jokes.. Sun May 25, 2008 9:21 pm

nyahahaha nttwa ko as in gs2 ko uLit uLtin :

:
dto ko pnka natawa.. eung kay meLanie marquez

:

Subject: Re: jokes jokes jokes.. Wed May 28, 2008 10:19 am

lol sobra haba namn

Subject: Re: jokes jokes jokes.. Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:24 am

ayos ah... ahihi lol!

Subject: Re: jokes jokes jokes.. Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:24 pm

hahaha...ang kuLit tlga...